193

Saw a link posted by a friend on facebook, so decided to just stream the video at work.
This Thai movie was broken down to 8 different video files, and it took me a while to finish the entire movie.

Basically this movie is about this tomboy and girl who are room mates, and how to venture into this journey to find out that they were in love with each other. Story line is as common as any other romance movie, but this is one of the few lesbian/gay movies which made it. The thai tomboy was unexceptionally handsome, and the other leading character was gorgeous!

But what made me felt like I could relate to this movie is that most of the lesbians I know would come to a crossroad when they would have to let their families know (if not already) about their unusual interest in the same gender. Most families could never accept that fact since it's out of the norm practice to be attached to the same sex. This movie was exactly what it was about.

The tomboy (in the movie) was courageous enough to walk to the girl's mum, and tell her that she loves her daughter. But like every other girl, she was afraid that the mum would be angry so she denied that it was true love that she's feeling and both of them were stuck in a heart ache. However, the ending of this movie was a happy one, when the girl went to look for the tomboy to apologize and they got back together. All in all, it was an awesome movie - and I would be devastated if they didn't end up together in the end.

"Thank you. Thanks for daring to love me."

I am kinda affected by this movie, because we went through the exact dilemma before this. When the missus' mum found out about us, her mum went to confront her, but the missus, told her that this is who she is, and she has to accept it, no matter what. Well, now her mum still has a hunch that we are together, but we try not to rub it in, so I have to let her spend time with the family during the weekends. Don't want to ruin the family right?

I always think, what if the situation were to be reversed?
Would I be able to handle this so calmly, and not runaway?
Yes, I can be very open to other people, but when it comes to my own family, I am not afraid that they would be angry or disappointed, but the pressure that my family would indirectly get from the other side of the family - that's what's hurtful. To see my family having to bear the discrimination, that's what's awful.

 

192

Last weekend was packed with wholesome fun!

Ever since we left UTP, meet-ups were scarce, since I was committed to a serious relationship; both work and love. And also the main reason was that most of us are working in an industry which requires us to travel to every inch of the country (or even the world!), and for some, they have to be in the middle of the sea. That's why the gathering period for a large group of people would often be precious, since it's difficult to gather everyone. Not everyone would be available, thus we only wait for the MOST SUITABLE time. 

Joshua, being a good host for the night, prepared crackers, drinks and even ice-cream for all of us. Since he was put up in Darby Park this time, it was awesome since it was a large room and to be able to fit almost 10 of us. Main entertainment for night was of course, a friendly poker card game night, where everyone took a little risk for a fun night. I even brought along my glass of coins which I have never gotten a chance to use it, so everyone was aghast to see me lugging the thing around the entire business complex before reaching the hotel room. 

All in all, it was really an awesome night. Having to spend QUALITY time with the rest of the engineers. 

I realized that when I first took over the event-organizing, no one was interested in dinners and it took a while for them to get back to me. 
On the other hand, when Joshua put the subject "POKER NIGHT" on the emails, the responses were almost instantaneous! Now, you can probably visualize and have a wild guess on what UTP has trained us to become.

On an unrelated note, we have found the perfect room to shift in, and have given a notice of moving out to our current land lady.
Last night, before we went to sleep, the missus was still excited about us making plans of how to fill up the unfurnished place, she asked whether I would love her forever.
You know how normal couples often move to a stage when they would be together, witnessed by the Holy Matrimony and all, and we are probably going to move in together, with no signed papers or even wedding dinners to proclaimed our love and share it with our friends and family?
But it feels right, to have to plan every single detail of our new place, and to know that things are working out fine for the time being.

191

I hope one day, one of you would stumble upon this blog page, and read about my rants. 

I know it is absolutely unethical to bitch about your own company/office, but everyday, you guys give me a reason to think about words which I have never even dream of. I bet, some of you must be surprised that even my vocabulary doesn't suffice to even bitch about the company.

Well, today's rant is a bit out of the ordinary. Actually. Simply insignificant. Near to unnecessary if not.

You guys know I work for this company, with the Company Official colour "Green" right?
So, we have this staff jacket for operation/meeting use. Okay, good. I do not mind the need of colour coordination during such meetings because you have to look synchronized, that I get it.
But because now, they implement a new policy, that ALL STAFFS have to don on the jacket during working hours which means even when we are in the office. 

Well, what's the point? 

First, the jacket weighs, like probably a tonne on my body. It is meant for hardcore operation purpose, doesn't serve the need during office hours. Do any of you get my drift now?

I do not question the company's policy, because I am barely significant in the organization chart, or even in the organization itself. But because I felt that this is an invasion to what I wear, because this is supposed to be a casual office, with only collar shirt and pants, but now, with the extra jacket, it felt like I am working in some kilang/factory. AND isn't it OBVIOUS THAT I HATE THE STUPID IDEA?

READ THIS: IT IS A STUPID IDEA!!

What's the reason of putting on a jacket, during office hours?
To shield us from the sun?
To make us look uniformed?
To fulfill the boss's policy?
I hate it when people force me to do something which I do not fancy. But because today, my manager asked all of us to put on, I succumbed to it. I felt weak going against this, because first, it's pointless to voice out my DISSATISFACTION to him, BECAUSE NONE OF IT WILL GO TO THE HIGHER MANAGEMENT, and secondly, I BET NONE OF THEM REALIZE THE UNNECESSARY EXTRA UNIFORM AT WORK. 

Like seriously, fucked up.

p/s: I can't think straight in this jacket. It feels like it gives me extra stress on my shoulder blade.

190

Having been to Penang for ample times, I am embarrassed to admit that I have no clue about Pulau Jerajak when I was first told of the place. Assigned to the island for a 4-day work, I had zero clues on what to expect. All I was told, was:

1. Need to take the ferry to the working place.
2. Island no line reception.
3. Work from day to night.

You could probably the amount of negative energy I was bringing with me, on Day One.

My means of transport 

Despite the bad line reception, my Digi was totally off as soon as I entered into their office, and only my Celcom was working, I was thankful that the shipyard is a small one. Most of my seniors were given Digi lines as their business lines, but I was one of the few ones using Celcom, so they had to borrow my line to send out emails. Celcom really works in remote places - proven! Having to work in a small ship yard means I don't have to walk a long distance to reach the site from the office. It's not that I dislike walking, but try having to clad on thick coveralls under the heat and rain. Sometimes I just want to hide in the smoking huts.

Also having ferries as our means of transport, means we have a fixed schedule to reach/leave the island. So, for this trip, my seniors tried to make it less difficult for me, so we left the island mostly by 12pm. And managed to visit several local hotspots in Penang.

Kek Lok Si Temple

It's definitely not my first time climbing up to Kek Lok Si, but usually I stop midway. Due to the eagerness of my senior colleagues, we ended up exploring every crook and cranny of the place, and having to see the entire Penang Island from view from atop. Also managed to patron Batu Ferrenghi (probably some may have seen pictures I've posted on Facebook)

So this working trip turned out more of a get-away..WHICH ALL OF US ARE IN NEED OF!

Combination of my favourite snacks!

By the way, what's up with Tunes Hotel?

Every single thing has to be prepaid, even the aircond?
Well, I have heard about it before, but really experiencing it myself, is another thing altogether.
Probably not going to return there, if I am going for another business trip.

188

I am having lunch while waiting for my car windows to be tinted. A group of OLs just came in, speaking posh-slang England..and gawd, for a minute I thought I came into a wrong shop.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Jalan SS 22/14,Petaling Jaya,Malaysia

187

Everytime someone sees me after such a long time, often they make remarks that I've put on weight..etc.
Without fail. And I realized I did, in fact put on a few pounds..and trust me, I have to change all my clothings due to the extra "baggage". But one can never blame me.

They say, the "FAT" is directly because of happiness. Well, in a 'wrong' way, I'd say.

I am trying to build up my stamina now, running about 2kms every alternate day. I don't need a sexy figure, but at least a body with no beer tummy, muffin tops, etc. Haha..it's a difficult and long road, but..I have the time.

186

JUST FREAKING RIDICULOUS. 
Now they screen through the emails we send to clients. 

To YOU:
If you do not trust your "hired!" engineers, then don't hire us in the first place!
Sometimes when you make comments, I really want to ask you this: "Do you have doubt in my work results or you don't understand the language I use in my emails?"

Every time you tell me the company's plan of growing, I highly doubt that, because if you are so intimidated about the fact that your role is slowly becoming insignificant, then forever, this is not going to grow at all. Please, you are just a tiny person in this corporation. You are not a fucking threat to me, and certainly I don't give a fuck about you. 

185

Think I should blog, since the internet is really slow at the work place, and I can't do much besides surfing low-resolution webpages and I have my fingers crossed, hope that the internet don't cut me off until I post this entry.

So, last night, about 30 minutes before work-bell ends, all of us received a memo from one of the managers in the company. Well, allow me to post excerpts of mentioned memo:-
__________________________________________________________________________________

" TO ALL STAFFS

Please be informed that with immediate effect the management has decided that no employee should apply annual leave based on replacement for working on Sundays or Public holidays. The management is of the opinion that our staffs are aptly compensated for these types of days worked.

We hope the matter is clear and every employee will work together and amicably and achieve our target to please our clients."

 _________________________________________________________________________________


Well, as soon as I received such memo, you could probably imagine the amount of words, gushing from my brain cells, waiting to be unleashed upon the email loop. But I was also rational enough to understand that the manager was only working on instructions issued by, of course, the "BOSS".

Problem with working for a "Family Business" is that the working culture here is entirely based on the traditions and culture practiced by them, since the business started. I am not saying that it's wrong here, well in fact, I admire the fact that the business is still around after so many years, with such implementation of law and order in this particular company.
Some of you who are reading this, may know me personally, and even well enough to know where I work at, but for others, I am sorry, but it is definitely unethical to mention the name of this particular company, because in actual fact, I am still working for them. And even if one day, one of the bosses DO come by here, accidentally or incidentally, I guess I don't really care. Or for that matters, I have already long left this 'organization'.

Why am I so disturbed over this memo?

Upon signing the offer letter by this company, I was told beforehand that the annual leave accounted for a newcomer would be 8 days. Well, I bet many of you would go, "Oh, so you knew it all along - so what's the problem now?" I admit, that I may have made the wrong decision by joining this company at the early stage because I was going to be confirmed as a permanent staff back in my previous company and I had to jump fast, otherwise I would have to serve a 1-month notice. Well, tough luck, now I am stuck in a company, with ZERO BENEFITS (I guess the word benefit isn't in their dictionary or company policy - if there's ever one!) and GUESS WHAT, NOW I HAVE TO SERVE THREE MONTHS NOTICE period. 


I think the Chinese proverb "From the tiger mouth, jump into the crocodile mouth" is applicable here. You have no idea how stupid I am feeling right now.

Alright, I was also told that I have to work in the office for 5.5 days, and also strongly reminded that my job is project based. Means if there's operation at site, I have to work at site as well, even if it is a public holiday or on a Sunday. Which means, for example, I have to go to work for 5.5 days and then also IF THERE'S AN OPERATION WHICH FALLS ON SUNDAY, I have to drag my sorry ass to work as well. WHICH MEANS, I AM 24/7 INDEBTED TO MY COMPANY LAH!

I was taken aback at the moment I knew about that. That was told, during the 1st day of work, which I was send to site on my 2nd day to witness an operation in Pasir Gudang. However, when I came back to my office, which was probably the 7 or 8th day of work, one of the superiors told me that in the event if I want to apply for an UNPAID leave (because I have no AL during my first year of service - stupid company policy!!), it can be replaced with a holiday if in the event I happen to work on a Sunday/Public Holiday. At that time, it felt like some sort of compensation because it didn't feel too bad having to work on a holiday right, knowing that it would be replaced with another holiday some other time, right?

Why, that was until YESTERDAY, when all of us received the memo.

I did a quick google - to find out in horror that the Malaysian Labour Law's minimal requirement for Annual Leaves is 10 days - and I am 2 days short of the minimal level! 
And also, in the event of if the employee works on a Public Holiday/Sunday, they are entitled to compensation in terms of wages or replacement of holidays.

Okay, I understand that Engineers are not entitled to OTs, okay, if sometimes I work for more than 18 hours a day and I do not get any compensation of wages, fine, I treat it as gaining extra experiences, but having to read this:-

"The management is of the opinion that our staffs are aptly compensated for these types of days worked."

makes me wanna strangle whoever that has such opinion.

Whenever I approach the superiors, I was shunned away by excuses given such as "Our company follows the Sarawak Law"..etc, but the LAST TIME I REMEMBER, SARAWAK IS PART OF MALAYSIA and MALAYSIA LABOUR LAW is applicable there right? Well, unless I missed out the part where Sarawak is dismissed from the country, but no, I read the news religiously.

I am not some 3-year-old who can be given a lollipop whenever I am on the verge of crying.

If only I know the right channel to make such complaints, I would definitely put up a fight, even if it means I have to leave this company with a 'BAD REPUTATION' - or the girl who complains a lot. Well, *toot you*.

184

Birthday Present. For her.  

183

Today, I made up my mind to sign up for a new Windows Live ID. For the past 1 month, I couldn't retrieve my MSN account because apparently someone has used it to spam the people in my account list.  Well, Hotmail/Windows Live has to deal with that, right? Holding back my account might solve the problem, but heck, all my mails are lost now.

I have been using the email: kuchai_1@hotmail.com ever since I had my first email account. Hell, kuchai_1@hotmail.com WAS my first email account, since I was 13! And now, after more than 10 years, all the emails and contact list are gone.

I won't deny, that I might have weeped as I signed up for the new account.

I DON'T WANT ANOTHER NEW EMAIL ADDRESS OR MSN ID. I want all my mails and original contact list WHICH HAS BEEN BUILD UP SINCE I WAS 13! Now, everything's gone.

For goodness sake.
I know I don't really use MSN that much, but I will miss the emails I have stored inside, I will miss the old contact list (which I could probably never retrieve ALL of 'em) and most of all, the memories suddenly vanquish into thin air.

182

I stumbled upon an acquaintance's blog page and read about the inspiring materials that she has written. I realized we have come a long way now, and I wonder, if there would be a Judgement Day, what would people tell me about the success I have made, or the amount of good deeds that I have done? I have friends who graduated with a secured degree; their parents hoping that they would be able to secure a job, get married and live happily ever after. Well, some would do so, but there is also a minor group of people who would do something out of the ordinary. Out of the ant-line.

Some would live their dreams, get what they want eventually and live happily. Some would still be finding their purpose in life. Some would never know.

I have died down in terms of writing on blogs, because I have lose passion of what makes me, Me. Maybe I have been slowly eaten from the inside, already joining the materialistic rats which are in the inevitable races, running to some imaginary race which has NO finishing line. Or maybe I feel like, being happy in a relationship blocks the creative juice from flowing the correct decision, that I don't know what I've typed for the past 10 minutes.

Anyway, if you are somehow reading this, and am interested about what I'm up to, during this long weekend: I am home, back in Ipoh for the weekend. I met up with a couple of friends at Berlin's, had a half-pint of Blackthorn (which is Cider, for clarification purposes!), catch up on our "interesting" lives, adjourned to Sook Min's home for more catching up, and been basically hanging out with my parents the whole day of Sunday. I have no plans for the rest of the holiday, maybe just catch up on my sleep, and I have to head up to Lumut for a meeting on Wednesday, Penang on Thursday, and perhaps, I would know my fate on Friday then.

See, how my life evolves around W-O-R-K now.

Oh yeah, I have also managed to meet up with YeeSan, who came back from UK, with the Italian Boyfriend at Skybar, Trader's on a Friday. I had a Corona (if you want to know..) and come 12.30am, I got really tired and wanted to go home.

I have aged, I have grown old, I have grown un-interesting.
My life can be dictated as a stagnant line on a graph paper. Well, sometimes I get tiny bumps along the way, but the scale is too small, barely noticeable.