Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
303
One of those weekends, which was spent with a group of old University mates.
Nasi Lemak in the morning, with a huge crowd. Only 4 of us this time, along with the missus. It's a good thing to bring her along sometimes; to me, it's a proud thing. She's not a trophy partner, but she makes me proud of myself. It's like when everyone (almost everyone in my social circle!) is in search for their soul mate, I finally found mine. Well, I do have my fingers crossed.
Anyway, we were (of course!) discussing about how's everyone doing, from the uni. Apparently everyone is doing fine. Well, most of us are in the oil business; HOW CAN WE NOT BE DOING WELL, right? This is the era of Oil, nope, alternative energy is still far away (and let's hope it remains so, for now, otherwise most of us would be put out of jobs!) Well, I shouldn't be saying this, but I felt kinda envious of my friends, who are currently doing very well in what they are doing. Happy, undoubtedly but envious.
In fact, one of my coursemates just got into the National Oil company and am really happy for her. Everyone is doing so well,that I can't help but ponder about what my present/future holds for me. Am I doing it right? Or am I just wasting my youth?
How come everyone is so happy with their career that they feel a sense of achievement, yet I feel so empty inside? What is it am I not doing right? I was telling a friend of mine, that he's very lucky to be working for this "BLUE" company, which pays very well. (We are talking about a 5-figure salary here) I have been contemplating to apply but because of its job nature, I have put off the thought the very next minute. But time and time, I couldn't help but wonder, what if I did click the "SUBMIT ENTRY" button, would I be shortlisted for the 3-round interviews? Will I be given a position in the company? What would I be doing then? What would I be doing with ALL that money then?
First of all, I have to admit, that I am not currently in a bad shape. My current job pays me higher than the market price, well not exactly a lot higher, but enough to make ends meet. I do not have to struggle every month's end, but because I used to lead a lavish lifestyle, that I am actually paying my dues now. I am recovering now, but honestly, I am living quite an 'OK' life. I do not have to rely on instant noodles, I do not have to eat at mamak stalls (unless for the pleasure of it) and I certainly do have occasional satisfied cravings of my hunger of good food. Needless to say, I am enjoying an "OK" life.
So, my friend retorted by saying, "Are you sure you want my life? A life with this company? If you were to work here, would you have *points at the missus* right beside you now?. Yeah sure, you can see the bank account of yours growing every month, but that's all it is. Money. Everyone hired into this company feels that they are more superior than anyone else, or because they are working in the OIL industry that they feel that they are highly superior than anyone else. And you know what keeps me sane is the thought of leaving the company soon."
"But, but..the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, right?"
He smiled. Yet I know he's right. I have a handful number of unimates who are currently working in the same particular company. Most of them had the same exact thought after spending a few days in this company: To leave when the time comes.
Am I thinking about submitting my application for this particular company?
Yes.
For the money. When I am still young, I want to explore more options for myself. Do something great. Not get into a debt hole, and not knowing what I want in life..
But what. What is it, that I want?
Nasi Lemak in the morning, with a huge crowd. Only 4 of us this time, along with the missus. It's a good thing to bring her along sometimes; to me, it's a proud thing. She's not a trophy partner, but she makes me proud of myself. It's like when everyone (almost everyone in my social circle!) is in search for their soul mate, I finally found mine. Well, I do have my fingers crossed.
Anyway, we were (of course!) discussing about how's everyone doing, from the uni. Apparently everyone is doing fine. Well, most of us are in the oil business; HOW CAN WE NOT BE DOING WELL, right? This is the era of Oil, nope, alternative energy is still far away (and let's hope it remains so, for now, otherwise most of us would be put out of jobs!) Well, I shouldn't be saying this, but I felt kinda envious of my friends, who are currently doing very well in what they are doing. Happy, undoubtedly but envious.
In fact, one of my coursemates just got into the National Oil company and am really happy for her. Everyone is doing so well,that I can't help but ponder about what my present/future holds for me. Am I doing it right? Or am I just wasting my youth?
How come everyone is so happy with their career that they feel a sense of achievement, yet I feel so empty inside? What is it am I not doing right? I was telling a friend of mine, that he's very lucky to be working for this "BLUE" company, which pays very well. (We are talking about a 5-figure salary here) I have been contemplating to apply but because of its job nature, I have put off the thought the very next minute. But time and time, I couldn't help but wonder, what if I did click the "SUBMIT ENTRY" button, would I be shortlisted for the 3-round interviews? Will I be given a position in the company? What would I be doing then? What would I be doing with ALL that money then?
First of all, I have to admit, that I am not currently in a bad shape. My current job pays me higher than the market price, well not exactly a lot higher, but enough to make ends meet. I do not have to struggle every month's end, but because I used to lead a lavish lifestyle, that I am actually paying my dues now. I am recovering now, but honestly, I am living quite an 'OK' life. I do not have to rely on instant noodles, I do not have to eat at mamak stalls (unless for the pleasure of it) and I certainly do have occasional satisfied cravings of my hunger of good food. Needless to say, I am enjoying an "OK" life.
So, my friend retorted by saying, "Are you sure you want my life? A life with this company? If you were to work here, would you have *points at the missus* right beside you now?. Yeah sure, you can see the bank account of yours growing every month, but that's all it is. Money. Everyone hired into this company feels that they are more superior than anyone else, or because they are working in the OIL industry that they feel that they are highly superior than anyone else. And you know what keeps me sane is the thought of leaving the company soon."
"But, but..the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, right?"
He smiled. Yet I know he's right. I have a handful number of unimates who are currently working in the same particular company. Most of them had the same exact thought after spending a few days in this company: To leave when the time comes.
Am I thinking about submitting my application for this particular company?
Yes.
For the money. When I am still young, I want to explore more options for myself. Do something great. Not get into a debt hole, and not knowing what I want in life..
But what. What is it, that I want?
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