It has been a busy month for myself.
Working late during weekdays (clocks in at 7.45am, clocks out at 9.10pm; almost daily) and also during certain weekends.
Deadline is on 1st February, yet nothing has been started yet! Time to start the engine!
Anyway I was back home for less than 24 hours yesterday. Reason was to see my grandfather who has been admitted into the ICU a few days back. Seeing his condition with several tubes connecting here and there, saddens me. It's not like I am not ready for him to leave, he is of old age, and it is only normal for him to leave. He has been there for all my childhood and teenage life, and even at the early stage of my adulthood. God has been very kind to my family, to my dad especially, since he still has his dad with him, even though he is now almost 55! Not many people are that lucky to be with their parents for so long, so I am kinda prepared for the worst.
But what saddens me is the time has passed by so quickly, that none of us are able to catch up. I still remember how my grandfather used to bring me out to the parks, because I was bored waiting at home for my parents to come pick me. Or how he used to drive all the way to Chemor to buy those pink teo chew kuihs for us, and he knows I like the salted vege fillings ones. Well, small small things like these, have not been in my mind for so long, because as far as I hate to admit, I have taken things for granted. I have been pushed to leave the family to work in the city, only able to return home to see him during the weekends, and that's for a brief time. I guess, along the way, I must have not spend enough time with him when he was still able to walk and talk.
Now that he's lying on the bed, all weak, only able to rely on the assistance of the oxygen tank, it saddens me that the time, the time has long gone. I went to the hospital, to see him lying there. My mum kept urging me to call out to him, but for a moment, I couldn't find my tongue. It was as if it was numb, hardened. My grandfather, a man of ego (all Teo Chew men are!), a man of power, suddenly became so weak, on the bed. I see my father, kept stroking his hands, kept whispering to his ears. My grandfather's eyes were still close at that point, but he nodded. Maybe he knew we were there, he could sense our presence. I walked up to him, told him I came back for him, to see him. And I told him I will come back to see him during the Chinese New Year again.
Chinese New Year. Even the doctors were doubtful whether he could make it that long. My dad is still in denial mode. He has been crying silently for days now, according to my mum. Again, a man like my dad, to cry in such a manner, only means one thing: He's not ready to let go of his dad.
I really hope he gets well soon, no matter how slim the chance is. At least another Chinese New Year with the family before he goes for good?
On a happier note, dad's birthday is coming, so we had a quick lunch celebration for him. I need to keep a mental note to self to spend more time with everyone!
But what saddens me is the time has passed by so quickly, that none of us are able to catch up. I still remember how my grandfather used to bring me out to the parks, because I was bored waiting at home for my parents to come pick me. Or how he used to drive all the way to Chemor to buy those pink teo chew kuihs for us, and he knows I like the salted vege fillings ones. Well, small small things like these, have not been in my mind for so long, because as far as I hate to admit, I have taken things for granted. I have been pushed to leave the family to work in the city, only able to return home to see him during the weekends, and that's for a brief time. I guess, along the way, I must have not spend enough time with him when he was still able to walk and talk.
Now that he's lying on the bed, all weak, only able to rely on the assistance of the oxygen tank, it saddens me that the time, the time has long gone. I went to the hospital, to see him lying there. My mum kept urging me to call out to him, but for a moment, I couldn't find my tongue. It was as if it was numb, hardened. My grandfather, a man of ego (all Teo Chew men are!), a man of power, suddenly became so weak, on the bed. I see my father, kept stroking his hands, kept whispering to his ears. My grandfather's eyes were still close at that point, but he nodded. Maybe he knew we were there, he could sense our presence. I walked up to him, told him I came back for him, to see him. And I told him I will come back to see him during the Chinese New Year again.
Chinese New Year. Even the doctors were doubtful whether he could make it that long. My dad is still in denial mode. He has been crying silently for days now, according to my mum. Again, a man like my dad, to cry in such a manner, only means one thing: He's not ready to let go of his dad.
I really hope he gets well soon, no matter how slim the chance is. At least another Chinese New Year with the family before he goes for good?
On a happier note, dad's birthday is coming, so we had a quick lunch celebration for him. I need to keep a mental note to self to spend more time with everyone!
 |
| Fruits Yee Sang - first lou sang of the year! |
 |
| See how happy everyone was - for a second! |
 |
| Lou Dan fish |
 |
| Sea Cucumber pot! |
No comments:
Post a Comment