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I survived my first week at work.

Came back to Ipoh for the weekend to celebrate my grandpa's birthday. We had dinner at some fancy Chinese restaurant, which coincidentally accommodating a wedding dinner. So it was awkward to have to go through the reception tables, while the host was probably wondering who we were. Chinese restaurants like these have to bear in mind the awkwardness/embarrassments the customers have to go through and come up with a better solution for separate entrances.
Don't need to be a smart fella to know that.

Thought that I could spend my weekend sleeping till late. My definition of late would be at least until 8-9. I don't get such luxury during weekdays now. Have to wake up at 5.45am from now on wards to avoid the traffic which piles up very easily in the city centre. Anyway, story cut short, I did not. For 2 week nights, I have been sleeping at 3 in the morning. Last night was up to update my iPhone's iOS. I couldn't resist, especially with the internet at home. I lose my Jailbreak just for the update, though I may regret now, when I have lose all my illegal apps.

There's no win-win situation anymore.

Woke up early this morning to bring my grandpa to the hospital for his usual treatment. He wobbles when he walks now, so I was a little worried. What if I dropped him or something? Will the family blame me? That's why I try not to get involved too much, because I certainly can't bear with the guilt IF something does happen. He had his treatment, I brought him for breakfast and he managed to chat up with his friends in the coffee shop.

The day seems good. I even had short conversations with his friends. This is the least I could do for him, being her granddaughter.

And after I brought him home, just had to bump into my grandma.

And that was how my day suddenly took a 180 degree turn.

She asked me what did I wear for work now. As expected, her choice of answer was always, "Skirts?". In the past, to avoid all repercussions, I would always lie to make them happy. In situations like that, I would usually go "Yeah, erm" But me being 25 next year, decided that I should just be myself. So I told her I wear slacks to work. With the air-conditions and all.
And they went skeptical. 


Then my grandpa went saying that, "Listen to me, you are getting older. So have to wear properly.", which indirectly translated to "Look! You have to start being more ladylike and wear skirts. No more shorts and t-shirts for you!" I don't know if he thinks that just because he's my grandpa which makes it compulsory to listen to him? Hell no. 


And the two of them went something like must wear more ladylike..something like that.

It made me felt pressured, so I smiled and said "OK." and left.

I didn't know how to react to them, and even relate the matter to them. All along I thought that my family would accept me for who I am. This is about my clothing preferences, not even to my sexual preferences yet. I felt suffocated even at home.
I know I shouldn't be a drama queen but I felt it's super hard to even wear feminine clothings now. Maybe it's because of my unexceptional body figure and size, that I feel inferior of the types of clothes I put on, OR it's just the way I'm born. Have been like these since young, and still, they don't get it.

I don't even know what to do. Cousin's wedding is in March, and OF COURSE THEY EXPECT ME TO GO IN SOMETHING SOCIALLY-ACCEPTABLE FOR A 25-YEAR OLD FEMALE.

I hate this.