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Sometimes people ask me whether I'm happy doing what I'm doing, living the life I'm living, etc.
and most of the time, I smile, because there would be no words powerful enough to tell them about my story. And because the vocabulary I have isn't enough to come out with the harshiest, terrible words to describe about my life, so most of the time, I just smile.

No, this has nothing to do with my love life.
This has nothing to do with being ungrateful to my parents. This has nothing to do with being blessed with a scholarship doing a professional degree and despite not having any interest in it, I came out perfectly fine. And definitely, this has nothing to do with me being offered a job, even before I graduate.
No, these should be happy things.
And yes, I should learn to be more positive.

Well, despite all the jokes I made, I would not deny that I was only trying to hide my biggest fear.
Fear of what? I don't know.
So when people kept telling me that they suspect they have depression, I smile. Do they know what depression really is?

I have been going through "depression" for as long as I could remember, and just like everyone, I am waiting for 'it' to snap.