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Recently, I was bogged with the thoughts of fitting in, into an organization.
Before I begin, let me first clarify, that the place I'm working at, is a very good organization. In fact, if I were to stay any longer, I think the more I would be able to learn, and build a very strong foundation in my career path. As an engineer.

Well, the thing is, recently I found out that there are better ways of building a career, and that is not to work as an Engineer. Well, it only applies if you are very sure that you have limited capability of technical skills. One thing that repulses me from my current job is the market price of an engineer, fresh from the oven. We are paid even lower than any other jobs, such as the banking industry, and also customer service. How is that possible, when we graduated with professional certificates, doing a 4-year bachelor degree, with technical knowledges, and yet, we are paid the same as banking officers? Again, I would like to clarify that I'm not looking down at anyone's profession, especially banking officers, but I happen to know that anyone with any degree would be able to take up that particular position. So, how is that fair, for someone who spend 4 years doing a technical degree and then, end up being paid so low?

Secondly, I have very vague image seeing myself labelled as an Engineer in, erm, the coming 5 years. Very difficult. I have tried psyching myself that this job is going to be easy-peasy since I've struggled and survived for the past 4 years. BUT, I realized that for the past 4 years, I managed to come out perfectly fine, because my non-technical papers managed to counter-balance the low grades I obtained for my technical papers. Thus, I graduated.
Unfortunately, in my career line now, there's no counter balance of non-technical tasks so it's very difficult to maintain myself in the game. Most of the time, I come to work, couldn't help but to feel like I was a redundant brat. In times of retrenchment, I would probably be the first to get the box/letter!

So, for weeks, I refused to feel like a redundant. I tried hard. Tried not to look like a retard at work. But they do say, fresh grads are meant to look like retards at work, but this is the 3rd month already, and I won't be able to afford to STILL look like a retard, not especially when there will be new engineers coming in.
I looked for alternatives. High and low. Something non-engineering related, with higher pay, routine job.

And then, people start coming to me, and say it would be a waste for me to disregard my engineering certificate and do something which anyone else would be able to do. No matter how attractive the pay would be, it would be a waste in a long term. But without money, how am I supposed to manage my living expenses, in KL? And how would I know if I wouldn't like something non-engineering related if I don't try?
But what if I did? What if I tried and found myself that I don't like what I do, would I still be able to come back to engineering? Will it be too late then?